A couple of weeks ago, I took to Facebook
to vent about a circulating article that endearingly
referenced a young woman in a drunken coma
who was sexed by some strange dude. When
she awoke from her coma with cum-dripping
confusion, this stranger insisted he had used a
condom Much later, she found find out she
had contracted HIV from her sexer.
Ironic, when one of the top pop songs
right now is "Drunk in Love.” For the average "Single
Lady" that ain't what you want. Let
the ladies married to millionaires with security have that one
Boo-Boos. Otherwise, you might end up with
"HIV-Infested cum, infested cum...
Baby rolling all down your tongue and a
piece of a million bucks
You gets none, you gets none”
When I took to Facebook to vent my passivity above all passivity, the stories of nasty-ding dong-
having suckers continued to fill my feed.
First, there was the married, Facebook lady hunter,
who wooed women to bed only to share later
that he had HIV. Now, there is this "Drunk In Cum"
The only thing I wrote, the ONLY thing
that MATTERS, is that
"Nobody cares about your coochie, but
you."
By
yourself? Watch yourself? I mean, really…don't get all drunk in the club,
unless, like I
mentioned earlier, you have your husband,
life partner, significant other, “main” boo thang or
whoever you know will definitely have your
back, to take you home for some watermelon.
These guys are dirty, trifling, and all
they want to do is f...k. As an HIV prevention advocate,
I see the numbers rising with each report.
There are more and more cases of HIV, historic
numbers of chlamydia cases, more gonorrhea
infection, and syphilis infections are up 11%.
(Just FYI, according to the CDC’s Sexually
Transmitted Disease Prevention Division, the rise in
syphilis infections is “entirely
attributable to men.”)
Further, I am still single, so I know
first-hand that the last thing any guy, rich or poor, is thinking
about is using a condom. The rich guy
“forgot them” and the broke guy “thought you got them”
because, you know, “…the way my account is
set up…”
My Facebook buds are a pretty diverse
bunch. So, when someone, (actually a former boss --
red face me) posed the question...
"What is a coochie?" I offered a “LOL” and immediately went
to Google. Part of me thought my mommy
brain forgot how to properly use slang, but thankfully
I didn't. So ahem, without further ado, a
"coochie", according to Wikipedia is:
Sexually suggestive slang from the
Southern United States, referring to the vagina.
Also, a slang descriptor often used in
relation to a belly dance or wiggling as in "Coochie
It may trace back to a song at the 1893
Chicago World's Fair performed by a dancer
named Little Egypt and was filmed in 1896
by Thomas Edison for the Coochee Coochee
Dance film short. The song was created by
Sol Bloom.
After the sexually provocative dance
became wildly popular during and after the World's
Fair, the term "hoochie coochie
man" came to refer to someone who either watched the
performer(s) or ran the show.
Alternatively, from the directly sexual meaning of hoochie
coochie, he (a “hoochie coochie man”)
greatly enjoyed sexual intercourse.
The erotic dancing was popular in film
booths and was a precursor of the striptease.
One explanation of the etymology
attributes it to the French word coucher, meaning to
No matter how we say it, our “prize pearl”
belongs to us. So, if we want to follow pop music’s
example, here is the "Beehive"
formula to keep your coochie safe from being "Drunk in Cum.”
Follow the song-script carefully…there is
a method to the madness.
1. Can he pay your “Bills, Bills,
Bills”?..... Since he keeps talkin’bout your body is sooooo
2. “Bootylicious”!….. He can (and did). So
ya'll became
3. “Bonnie and Clyde”….. You whispered in
his ear, “Let me…”
4. “Upgrade U”….. Both of you fell
6. “Put a Ring on It” ….. You put on a
7. “Freakum Dress” ..... So he could get
the/So ya’ll could go to the
8. “Kitty Kat”/”Party”….. Because
9. “That’s How You Like It” … When you are
So before we get too drunk and give up the
coochie, double check if you missed a song.
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